Holiday Tips
Holiday Tips!
As you approach the holidays and the end of 2023, I hope you are able to celebrate all the courage it took and the hard work you've made to grow, heal, and evolve this year. It's been an honor to hold a safe space and support you. I'm curious how the growth you've made this year will be the foundation for more rest, more joy, and more dreams to flourish in 2024?
MENTAL HEALTH TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS: the Holidays can be stressful but apart from what is talked about as "normal", the Holidays don't have to be stressful. Although you can't control what others do, you are in control of how you want the Holidays to feel. Check out the tips and pick one or two to focus on this month. If you get stuck, don't hesitate to reach out for a session.
How to make New Years Goals …that actually Boost Your Mental Health
New Years Resolution Tips
December 5, 2023
In a society focused on task completion and success, we often are focus on “the next thing” and often forget to slow down and take a breath before we move we move forward.
REFLECTION, CELEBRATION, AND DREAMING are all essential parts of our mental health, as we transition seasons of life.
Many people associate “New Years” with “New Year’s Resolutions” or artsy Vision Boards. If the idea of Years Resolutions make you feel an immediate fear of failure, or if Vision Boards feel daunting, this blog post is for you!
Here are some quick mental health tips for an enjoyable and stress free New Years:
Keep it simple and CHOOSE JUST ONE WORD OR PHRASE. One of my clients who LOVES Vision Boards shared recently that the biggest game changer for her was moving from having to create “a bunch of goals” or a quippy, impressive sentence to share with people who ask what her New Year’s Resolution …to transitioning to focusing on “JUST ONE WORD” that encapsulates what she’s hoping to cultivate for the year.
This brings me to my next tip: FOCUS ON CULTIVATING instead of trying to accomplish or arrive. We are constantly evolving humans and although we as humans love “crossing things off the list”, a more mindful, freeing way to focus on goals is to cultivate, expand, and move TOWARDS a goal instead of trying to achieve it.
In farming and agriculture, "cultivate" refers to the process of preparing and working on the soil to promote plant growth. In a broader sense, "cultivate" can mean to foster the growth or development of something. It’s about ENCOURAGING certain qualities, themes, or habits in your life. This isn’t about forcing, arriving, or pushing something to happen, which takes the pressure off.
Assess your willingness. You read that right - You don’t have to have a crazy intense, hard goal to be a badass in Self-Growth. Is the motivation for your goal from guilt or joy/natural desire?
Do you feel genuinely excited about your goal? Does your goal make your body feel relaxed? Do you light up with joy when you think about cultivating it? If not, it may be a guilt-driven goal; and research says 80% of guilt and “should” driven goals have the lowest success rates.
GET CONCRETE. to cultivate change, it’s not just “THE WHAT" we want to grow? It’s also “The HOW” will i grow this in my life? Once you establish your “word or phrase” for 2024, start brainstorming all the ways, big and small (don’t discount the baby steps!) that will get you there. Maybe write 10 things, then highlight or put a start next to 2-3 steps that seem like the most realistic, least challenging steps to start with.
Ie. If your Vision word for 2024 is “Peace”, then encourage that by writing down three to four ways you’d like to incorporate that
have a bedtime rhythm of 2 min gratitude journaling
once a week time with a friend who always makes me feel rejuvenated/relaxed
2 minutes of deep breathing, once a day
organize my home/get rid of stuff
spend 5 minutes petting or hugging my animal
light a candle when I get home from work/end my WFH day
create a relaxing music playlist that I can play when I feel stressed at home or at home.
go for a 5 minute walk once a day
get into nature for at least 15 minutes once a week
find a way to laugh more (with comedy show on netflix, being with a funny friend, or looking at Dadjokes on social media
CHOOSE ONLY ONE STEP TO FOCUS ON FOR JANUARY that helps you move towards the goal. Again…it’s not about accomplishing the Vision…it’s about cultivating and encouraging that theme/culture in your life. You’ll set yourself up for failure if you try to be “gung-ho” and change your whole life overnight.
Ie. it may seem silly and “way too easy” for your only goal for January or for the first two weeks of January to be “light a candle when you get home/done with work” but “slow and steady wins the race”. Accomplishing goals is just as much about building confidence and trust in yourself. If you are trustworthy and consistent with the first goal, you’ll be even more motivated and consistent with the second goal!
MAKE YOUR GOAL EASY
PSA: YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL PAIN TO GROW!
Choose resolutions that really matter to you, and as James Clear puts it in Atomic Habits make your habits “obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying. Put habits on the path of least resistance.
For example, maybe you really do want to be more present in your life, and it seems like spending less time on social media “SEEMS LIKE it SHOULD be the way you do that”. But if you enjoy checking in on Instagram/TikTok, re-consider taking a 100% break from social media. Instead, cut your time by 10% (setting a “phone limit” in Settings (from 4 hours a day to 3.7 hours) and focus more on adding a mindful habit instead of taking a habit away that is difficult to remove. You don’t have to be in pain to encourage a great new culture or habit in your life.
Track your Progress: In the busyness of life, it’s easy to lose commitment if you don’t track your progress or consistently check in with yourself. I recommend you decide on a day of the week or month, a place to write down the actions related to your resolutions, and record what you do daily or weekly.
That could mean writing them in your paper planner, keeping them on your calendar, or simply having a day of the week that you take 5 minutes to check in with yourself and/or a friend on how you’re doing. Don’t worry as much about success here. Growth isn’t just about the ending point; it’s about the journey. Learning more about yourself IS movement, growth, and change. Use these questions to learn more about yourself week to week:
What did I accomplish?
What did I learn or learn about myself?
How do I want to celebrate that?
What did I learn that helps me “hit a reset button” adjust my goal for the week to keep cultivating this goal?
What’s my goal for this week?
Use this Guide as you Make your New Years Vision word(s) and goals. And don’t forget: be KIND to yourself, see the LEARNING process as growth, and CELEBRATE the small wins! If you’re feeling stuck on creating goals or feeling “behind” on accomplishing goals in the new year, don’t hesitate to get some extra support from a friend, or booking a session with a Therapist or Life Coach.
Cheering you on,
Cassie